If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.
In response to the vision of marriage that Jesus provides, the disciples find themselves overwhelmed. Up until the clarification of Jesus, Pharisaic rules dominated the interpretation of divorce amongst the people of God. In Matthew 19, Jesus clarifies the heart of God that marriage ought to be between a man and a woman for life. Furthermore, according to Jesus, divorce may take place under circumstances of adultery, and he leaves no other examples where divorce may be filed.
The disciples reel at this standard, for according to the Pharisees, divorce of one’s wife could occur under almost any circumstance for any reason. The weighty overwhelm caused by the standard Jesus presents of the commitment to one’s spouse caused the disciples to count the cost of marriage. Their response makes this much clear: “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
Of the many lessons that we could take from this passage, this one stands out to me today: the disciples were ordinary men.* They looked at themselves and and they looked at the standard and saw a large gap.
It’s easy to think of the disciples of Jesus or disciples of today that serve as pastors, mentors, or ministry leaders as having obtained some level of superior enlightenment that qualifies them more than us. Though we all should strive to be close to Jesus, find freedom in our lives, and live with integrity, every disciple of Jesus is still human.
Jesus goes on to recognize the different conditions of people (using eunuchs as an example due to their lifestyle of singleness).* Jesus recognizes that different people have different life situations and different callings on their lives. To be single is not greater than being married, nor is being married better than being single.
We must recognize what God has called us to do and recognize that we are all human. No matter our state, we must rely totally on God for the empowerment via the Holy Spirit to walk out the path that He has called us to.
What has God called you to? Maybe the call of God on your life includes marriage. Maybe the call of God on your life includes remaining single. God’s call on your life certainly includes more than these two aspects of life as He cares about every detail of your beautifully human life.
Today, take a step.
Maybe today the one step God wants you to take is to remember what He has called you to do, and to remember that He has made His empowerment via the Holy Spirit available to you today. Perhaps God wants you to hear His call on your life today in an area other than marriage. Maybe God wants you to take a step of obedience toward the thing He has been whispering to your soul. Perhaps God just wants you to remember that you are human and so are the people around you - we all need Him.
Whatever the step, ask God to direct it. Take a moment to take that step. Invite Him to speak. He will.
Life is a long road. Walk it with Jesus. Take a step today… just one is fine.
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*Leon, Morris, The Gospel According to Matthew. Pillar New Testament Commentary (Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1992), 478, and Keener, C. S., Matthew (Vol. 1, Mt 19:1–22:46) (InterVarsity Press, 1997).