Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Forgiveness is probably the hardest path I have ever been asked to walk. There are several reasons why forgiveness can be difficult, but one of them comes from the reality of who we are not.
When Peter asks Jesus about how much he should forgive, the response of Jesus indicates that our forgiveness should have no end.* Jesus is asking limited beings (us humans) to offer something limitless. Humans cannot achieve this requirement. Humans, by nature, are limited. There’s a limit to how much energy we have. There’s a limit to how much time we have in a day. There’s a limit to our emotional capacity, our endurance, our patience, and more! Anything a human is capable of producing or engaging in has a limit.
So how can Jesus ask this of us? How can we possibly hope to achieve it?
Jesus goes on to share a parable about a servant who owes his king so much money that no one could possibly repay it, even if they were to live multiple lifetimes. Out of compassion and extreme grace, the king forgives this debt. The expectation then is that this servant would pass along extreme grace to others, but he does not. In response, the king returns this man to a position of repayment, and he must spend the rest of his life enduring the punishment that he is due in prison.
What does this mean for us? Unfortunately, I have heard this verse used as a coercive tactic to convince people to forgive others of horrible atrocities. Sadly, these people are not given the tools or the path to forgive, but are forced to step into whatever default understanding that they have for forgiveness, which many times looks like denial or belittling their own pain. This was not Jesus’ intent. God does not coerce humanity.
The problem of the wicked servant who did not pass along the forgiveness to his fellow servant was deeper than we realize. The problem with the servant is that he did not receive the grace and pass it along. He was still attempting to repay.*
Jesus invites us to receive his never-ending, limitless, extreme grace so that we can pass it along to others. How many of us have sinned and, maybe without realizing it, are still attempting to perform our way into good standing with God even though He has extended grace through Christ to us? I know I have been guilty of this vain attempt. Let me tell you, during that season of my life, I was not a very forgiving person because any attempt to forgive was out of my own, limited source, not out of God’s unlimited source.
When we do not forgive, it’s worth asking the Holy Spirit if we have received God’s unlimited grace. If so, Jesus does expect that we use it as a resource to funnel through our lives to others.
Forgiveness can be hard. It requires grieving; it requires counsel; it requires trust. The trust in God it requires is great. It requires that we trust in His justice and His grace.
Today, take a step.
Maybe today the one step God wants you to take is to receive His grace today. Perhaps you have been trying to perform your way into good standing with God, but God wants to give you extreme grace. Maybe there is someone that you have been withholding forgiveness from, and God wants you to pass along His grace to them through you. Perhaps God wants to help you to grieve the wrong that was done or provide you with someone to talk to about it for healing.
Whatever the step, ask God to direct it. Take a moment to take that step. Invite Him to speak. He will.
Life is a long road. Walk it with Jesus. Take a step today… just one is fine.
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*Leon, Morris, The Gospel According to Matthew. Pillar New Testament Commentary (Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1992), 471–477, and Keener, C. S., Matthew (Vol. 1, Mt 18:23–35) (InterVarsity Press, 1997).