It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Our efforts to understand the words of Jesus pass through the lens of our modern-day understanding. This lens has been shaped by the beliefs and practices of our current culture and hundreds of years of Christian traditions. To understand the words and intentions of Jesus, we must travel back in time to attempt to hear what the original listeners of Jesus heard. This effort will help unveil why Jesus shared what Jesus shared.
In this passage, Jesus is speaking to a Jewish culture that used divorce in unfair and dishonorable ways. It held marriage as a convenience easily cast away. The Jewish practice of divorce in the time of Jesus allowed a man to divorce his wife for almost any reason. These reasons included a wife’s disobedience which could look like anything as small as burning the morning toast! Conversely, a woman could not divorce her husband with such ease, but would have to plead her case to a court (no matter how harsh the situation) who could then order the husband to divorce his wife.*
In the surrounding Greco-Roman culture, a man and woman both had the right to divorce each other, but they could do so without any kind of consent.* A man or woman could be done with their marriage at the drop of a hat.
Furthermore, Jewish men in the time of Jesus could operate sexually outside of the boundaries of marriage while married so long as those they engaged with were not married themselves. A woman did not have this freedom.
Understanding this context, and understanding that the words of Jesus in Matthew 5 look to elevate the understanding of Godly living from law to heart-condition, and holding other Scriptures on marriage and divorce in hand, we see that the words of Jesus seek to lift the understanding of the sanctity of marriage of the Jewish and Greco-Roman people to a higher level. Jesus equalizes the playing field in marriage by holding both men and women to the same bond of marriage while not providing permission for promiscuous behavior. He calls married men and women to fight for marriage in all circumstances and to not throw it away so easily. The words of Jesus do not seek to condemn those who have been divorced, but to urge the hearer to value marriage at its proper worth.
While this passage holds direct application regarding the heart of God for marriage, we must also understand that we are the bride of Christ.
How many times has our “toast been burned” and we desired to divorce God from our lives even if we couldn’t? How many times have we operated in a Roman-Greco system of commitment to God that allowed us to just walk away from Him on a whim of delight or disappointment? How many times has the wooing promises of this world drawn us away from our bridegroom in an adulterous moment of idolatry?
I know that I have been guilty of these things. In times of hurt where I believed that God should have done something, I have hidden my heart from Him, attempting to punish God with my distance. Other times I have been wooed by the false promises of this world for fame and significance. I have been unfaithful to my God. I have been guilty of trying to please the law above loving Him and receiving His love.
Today, take a step.
Maybe today the one step God wants you to take is to repent for being unfaithful to God. Perhaps God is asking you to value your relationship with Him more deeply. Maybe you need to take a step in valuing your relationship with your spouse more. Perhaps you need to forgive your spouse for burning the toast. Maybe you need to engage in the challenge of lifting your focus from the law to the loftier and deeper heart of the matter.
Whatever the step, ask God to direct it. Take a moment to take that step. Invite Him to speak. He will.
Life is a long road. Walk it with Jesus. Take a step today… just one is fine.
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*Leon, Morris, The Gospel According to Matthew. Pillar New Testament Commentary (Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1992), 119-122, and Keener, C. S., Matthew (Vol. 1, Mt 5:31-32) (InterVarsity Press, 1997).