Then he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, “I do not know the man.” And immediately the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.
Entangled inside Peter’s denial of Jesus was a denial of self. Peter had promised himself and Jesus that he would never betray Jesus, yet we see the prophetic words of Jesus fulfilled with Peter betraying Jesus three times before the rooster crowed.
How many times have you made promises to the Lord that you did not keep? How many times have you committed to yourself to do or not do certain things and failed? As humans, our terrible ability to lie extends from others to even ourselves.
Peter may have honestly believed that he would stay true to Jesus, but he did not.
The question is not, “will we keep our word of faithfulness or not?“ The question is, “how will we respond when we don’t?” Peter was seen as the leading apostle during the writing of the Gospels. Strangely enough, his failure was placed into the permanent record and did not disqualify him from leadership.* Why not?
Peter repented. We know from reading ahead that Peter’s separation from the group and tears of bitterness did not lead to isolation or self-punishment. They served as an act of repentance that moved him to return to his community of believers (the disciples).
Maybe you have failed Christ or yourself. I know that I have many times. I’ve been guilty of allowing the call of God on my life to become an idol in my life. I have remained silent when I should have spoken, and I’ve spoken when I should have remained silent. I have disobeyed simple commands and complicated decisions with reasoning and worry. How we respond to these times matters. It impacts our relationship with Christ and our relationship to others.
Today, take a step.
Maybe today the one step God wants you to take is to spend a moment to recognize your failure to be faithful. Perhaps He wants you to step away from self-punishment and step into repentance and reconciliation to Him. Maybe God wants you to remember that He knows you’re imperfect and loves you anyway.
Whatever the step, ask God to direct it. Take a moment to take that step. Invite Him to speak. He will.
Life is a long road. Walk it with Jesus. Take a step today… just one is fine.
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*Leon, Morris, The Gospel According to Matthew. Pillar New Testament Commentary (Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1992), 686–690, and Keener, C. S., Matthew (Vol. 1, Mt Mt 26:69–75).) (InterVarsity Press, 1997).