Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me”… And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
The pain and difficulty involved with death on the cross to pay for the sins of the world was not lost on Jesus. Scripture tells us that the grief of it was enough to kill Jesus.* Think about the greatest emotional pain that you have ever experienced. I would estimate that the pain that you have endured in this life is no small thing. Perhaps you wanted to die. Maybe you felt like you would. Jesus explains here that His grief was enough that it actually could kill Him.*
Maybe you can relate to this level of pain. Maybe you can relate to Jesus when He looked for His friends to help Him through a difficult time, and they weren’t there for Him. To face death on the cross, to endure the emotional torment of its looming approach, and then to feel abandoned by friends in time of need… that’s a lot.
I’m in awe of the grace of Jesus in this moment. Despite this horrific circumstance, Jesus is understanding. He understands that no matter how much His disciples want to be there for Him, they are human, and humans get tired. How could Jesus be so understanding? How could He overlook something that many of us would receive as insult on top of injury? In His lowest moment, those closest to Him were not there for Him.
While Jesus hoped that the cross could be avoided, He only asked His Father to avoid the pain of the cross if God’s will could still be fulfilled.* Jesus was concerned about the Kingdom of God and God’s people more than His own pain. In the face of the pain, Jesus, even fully human, did not let go of the perspective of heaven.
Sometimes when we fail or others fail us, we can be so consumed in the pain that we lose the perspective of heaven. We forget that we are human and flawed and so are those around us. Giving grace to others may sometimes be as simple as allowing others to be human. Extending grace to ourselves may be just as simple. Simple isn’t alway easy, though.
The consequences of the humanity of the disciples is that they were not up and watching as Jesus asked. They did not pray for Him during that time. They missed an opportunity.
Succumbing to our humanity has consequences, and it risks hurting others. Despite these realities, Jesus knows and loves us.
Today, take a step.
Maybe today the one step God wants you to take is to remember your humanity. Perhaps God wants you to receive His perspective on yourself or others. Maybe He wants you to know that He understands the pain that you are going through. Perhaps He wants you to know that He is with you watching and praying. Maybe He wants you to extend some grace to someone very human.
Whatever the step, ask God to direct it. Take a moment to take that step. Invite Him to speak. He will.
Life is a long road. Walk it with Jesus. Take a step today… just one is fine.
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*Leon, Morris, The Gospel According to Matthew. Pillar New Testament Commentary (Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1992), 666–672, and Keener, C. S., Matthew (Vol. 1, Mt Mt 26:31–56).) (InterVarsity Press, 1997).