Then one of the twelve, whose name was Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What will you give me if I deliver him over to you?” And they paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray him.
What would it take for you to betray Jesus?
For Judas, it seemed to take only thirty pieces of silver, the price of a slave at the time.* There was more to the story, however. Some think that Judas might have grown impatient, thinking that Jesus had the power to overthrow the Romans but that He lacked the motivation. Betraying Jesus would place Him in a position where He would have to act. Others think that Judas was bent on a violent overthrow of the Roman oppression, and upon finding out that Jesus had other intentions (namely, death on a cross), he betrayed Jesus out of disappointment. The third popular thought is that Judas may have become disillusioned by the reality that Jesus was doomed for death and had “failed" to save the Jewish people (in this line of thinking, Judas would measure failure as an inability to remove Roman oppression). His disillusionment led Judas to betray Jesus to save Himself.*
Whatever the true motive of Judas, I must first ask the Holy Spirit if these motives have existed in my heart (the Holy Spirit always tells me the truth… I’m apt to lie to myself). Second, I must ask Him how I have reacted when those motives have existed.
How many times have you and I had an expectation that Jesus would remove something from our lives and He didn’t? How many times did we think that Jesus is the kind of Savior who busts down doors on our behalf? How many times have not liked the path of Jesus and gone another way? How many times have we missed the thing that Jesus is doing? How do we respond?
It’s easy to quickly say, “oh, I’ve never betrayed Jesus.” I know that I’ve closed my heart to Him when feeling disappointed that the miracles I wanted didn’t come as I hoped. I know that I haven’t shared Him with others when the door has been wide open. I know that I have listened to the advice of the enemy rather than to the words of Christ. Are these things not betrayals?
We can respond to the realization of our own betrayal like Judas, attempting to pay for our sin by reimbursement (he ended up throwing the money back in the faces of the Pharisees) and by self-punishment (Judas killed himself in response to his betrayal). I have unsuccessfully attempted to pay back God and punish myself through self-loathing. These things are not necessary.
Confession is. We must recognize that Jesus is Lord and King and that His ways are higher than our ways and are right and good even when we don’t understand them. We must completely change the compass of our thinking to align to His, and we must be patient with ourselves and with God when that takes time.
Today, take a step.
Maybe today the one step God wants you to take is to ask Him about your heart toward Him. Perhaps He wants you to ask Him if you have betrayed Him in some way. Maybe He wants you to ask Him if your expectations of Him were not met. Perhaps He wants to you to take some time to see things from His perspective.
Whatever the step, ask God to direct it. Take a moment to take that step. Invite Him to speak. He will.
Life is a long road. Walk it with Jesus. Take a step today… just one is fine.
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*Leon, Morris, The Gospel According to Matthew. Pillar New Testament Commentary (Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1992), 650–652, and Keener, C. S., Matthew (Vol. 1, Mt Mt 26:14–16).) (InterVarsity Press, 1997).